How a Cold LinkedIn DM Found Me a Community Across the Atlantic
Think back to the moment you received a major life-changing update. For me, it was getting my PhD admission letter to the Instructional Systems and Learning Technologies (ISLT) program at Florida State University. Once the initial rush of excitement and celebration settled, a heavy, practical thought immediately took over:
“How am I going to find my people?”
Moving across the world to a new city, a new university, and a completely new culture is exhilarating, but it can also be profoundly isolating. We live in an era dominated by recommendation algorithms, but when you are looking for a genuine human community, waiting for an algorithm to serve it to you on a silver platter rarely works.
So, I decided to bypass the algorithm entirely.
Treating LinkedIn Like a Targeted Search Engine
Instead of passively scrolling through my feed hoping to stumble across a connection, I treated LinkedIn like a highly specific, targeted search engine.
I knew that names alone weren't enough to narrow down the digital noise. I had to manually layer my identifiers to find the exact space I needed. I intentionally combined three specific pillars in my searches:
The Program: Current ISLT students
The University: Florida State University
The Heritage: Fellow Nigerian scholars
It felt a bit bold at the time, but I started cold-DMing a few of the people who popped up in the results. I introduced myself, shared the news of my admission, and asked candid questions about adjusting to life in Tallahassee.
Those digital "knocks on the door" changed everything.
From a Digital "Knock" to a Smooth Landing
The responses I received were warm, welcoming, and incredibly informative. By taking the initiative to reach out before I even packed my bags, I secured a smooth landing at FSU and the city of Tallahassee. I wasn't stepping into the complete unknown anymore; I had friendly faces expecting my arrival.
But the impact didn't stop at those initial conversations.
Through those early LinkedIn connections, I was introduced and added to the African Graduate Student Association (AGSA). What started as a search for survival tips transformed into finding a deep, vibrant community of brilliant minds. Over time, this space didn't just become a support system—it became a platform where I have been privileged to actively contribute, collaborate, and lead.
[ Passive Waiting ] --> Relies on algorithms to show you what's relevant.
[ Intentional Search ] --> Manually layers identifiers (FSU + ISLT + Nigeria).
[ Bold Outreach ] --> Cold DMs that build authentic, real-world community.
The Takeaway: Don't Wait to Be Found
Sometimes, the digital tools we use try to do too much thinking for us, filtering our world into generic feeds. Your community is out there, but they might be buried under layers of data.
If you are transitioning to a new role, starting a new degree, or moving to a new city, don't wait for the platform to suggest the right people. Take control of the search bar, add your unique layers of identifiers, and don't be afraid to send that bold first message.
A single, intentional cold DM might just be the gateway to the community you'll end up leading tomorrow.
Dami, the framing of LinkedIn as a targeted search engine rather than a passive feed is the reframe I didn't know I needed. I've always treated social platforms like waiting rooms — just sitting there, hoping the right person walks through the door — and your post makes it clear how much agency I've been leaving on the table.
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest: as an introvert, the idea of a cold DM has always felt like standing up in a crowded restaurant and announcing myself. The fear isn't rejection exactly — it's more like the vulnerability of being seen before I feel ready. But what strikes me about your approach is how it narrows the risk before you ever type a single word. By layering your identifiers — program, university, heritage — you weren't cold-DMing strangers. You were finding people who were already predisposed to understand you. That's not bold in a reckless way; it's strategic precision that makes boldness feel a lot more accessible.
The part that's going to stick with me is this: you didn't wait to arrive and then try to build community. You built it before you even packed your bags. That sequencing matters — especially for those of us who need a little familiar ground beneath our feet before we can show up fully. The warm faces waiting for you at FSU weren't a lucky accident; they were infrastructure you built intentionally.
I'm curious whether you'd apply the same multi-layer search logic to professional networking beyond graduate school — or if something about the shared stakes of being new to a place made the outreach feel more natural?
I agree that you need to be driven enough to risk cold-DMing.
ReplyDeleteI agree that you need to be driven enough to "risk" cold DM-ing.
ReplyDeleteHey Dami,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your post! I especially liked your idea about “layering identifiers” instead of just waiting for algorithms to magically connect people for us. That part felt so real and intentional. I also thought it was really inspiring how one simple cold message ended up leading you to such a strong sense of community, leadership, and belonging at FSU. Your post was such a good reminder that sometimes the most meaningful connections start with one brave little message :)
I share that feeling, as I went through the same experience around the same time. I fully agree with you, Dami! LinkedIn is a powerful tool! I’ve connected with various people in my field who have been fantastic. I’m learning a lot and have made connections with people from all over the world!
ReplyDelete